This book was just so bad. I’ve been flirting with reading it for a while now (the premise seemed very silly but Goodreads really wanted to recommend it to me), so when I was in the mood for a silly romance earlier this week I finally relented.
Never again will I go against my “I think this book is gonna suck” sense just because of a cute title and a model that looks vaguely like Daisy Riddley. I’ve learned my lesson.
The book stars Lord Harry Traemore who somehow manages to be a grade A skeevy asshole while being the world’s most boring hero. He is one of the society’s “Impossible Bachelors;” he competes in this stupid bet set up by the Prince Regent where a bunch of rakes go head-to-head over who has the hottest mistress—the winner gets to avoid matrimony for a year and the loser has to get married to a girl of the other “Impossible Bachelors'” choosing.
This bet is both incredibly unrealistic (normally I don’t give a fig about staying true to the time period but the Prince Regent really…?), juvenile, and also just insulting to women. It sounds like it was dreamt up by middle schoolers, not people in their 30’s!
Meanwhile, Lady Molly Fairbanks has decided to elope with a guy she really isn’t that into. She just really wants to be married and get the whole husband hunting thing over with. However, before they get to Gretna Green, the couple has to spend a night at a travel inn. And guess who she runs into at the inn? Her childhood nemesis Lord Harry with his latest hottie on his way the “Most Delectable Companion” contest. However, tragedy (?) strikes when her finance and his mistress run off together leaving Harry and Molly high and dry.
Now Harry…oh Harry…decides that the solution to this is not to:
a. offer Molly a ride home
b. offer to save her reputation and marry her
c. give her an ultimatum between being stranded in the middle of nowhere (where most likely she’ll die) or pretending to be his mistress for his contest.
What the heck Harry? Now, I’ve read a lot of romance novels and I know a good author can manage to redeem a huge scoundrel. But, in my eyes, Harry is never redeemed. He continuously takes advantage of Molly, gets mad at her for being a crappy fake mistress, is drunk essentially 24/7, ruins her reputation tenfold, and never really manages to feel all that guilty about it. Not to mention, for the life of me I couldn’t see what appealing qualities he possessed! Because somehow, despite being a selfish jackass, he was about as interesting as a brown stick—one of the most one-dimensional heroes I’ve come across.
While I liked Molly she was very immature. She had a very rainbows-and-butterflies outlook on life and her feelings for Henry looked like a combination of Stockholm syndrome and a sixth grader’s crush on their teacher. Her interactions with the other mistresses looked reminded me of a bad made-for-DVD tween movie. She, like Henry, was also very one-dimensional.
Actually, this was just a one-dimensional book. Definitely missable, if not a hard pass.
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